Human Needs
Our Needs Direct Our Actions.
Abraham Maslow was the first to suggest that human beings had multiple needs and
that we are always working to fill those needs. Researchers tell us that all of us are
filling our needs everyday; our need to belong, to achieve, to receive attention, to be
listened to. We all have the same "basic" needs.
We might think of some needs as being "primary." Those needs must
be met before we can spend much effort on filling others.
Our Primary Needs:
food, shelter, safety, rest
Once we can reasonably expect to have these in our daily lives, we set about
filling the others. We all have the need:
| to be loved |
to laugh |
to be respected |
| to be "real," ourselves, not put on an act |
to be listened to |
to receive guidance |
| to receive support |
to be accepted |
to grieve losses |
| to receive attention |
to be nurtured |
to participate |
| to belong to the group |
to be creative |
for solitude |
| to be taken seriously |
for touch |
for freedom |
| to accomplish something worthwhile |
to dispose of emotional pain |
to express our sexuality |
| to have control of our own life |
to have fun |
for privacy |
| to express our emotions (not necessarily in
language) |
for spirituality |
|
If we’re fortunate, we learn ways to fill many of those
needs in ways that benefit us and benefit the community. But we will learn
to fill many of those needs, sometimes with obnoxious behavior, sometimes with destructive
behavior.
Filling a Need Destructively
As children we often learn to "misfill" a need, fill it in some
destructive fashion. The student who doesn't get enough attention in general, may discover
that he can get it with misconduct. It turns out that negative attention, scolding,
reprimand or punishment for bad behavior is better that no attention at all.
Some researchers
believe there may be an "hierarchy" of needs. Certain needs, besides the primary
needs, must be met before others are considered. Those might be the need:
for acceptance, belonging
to be nurtured
for love
for attention
to dispose of emotional pain
to have control of (power over) one’s life
In an effort to belong somewhere, anywhere, kids join gangs.
(There are other reasons, too--protection, for one--that students join
gangs.) To be one of
the group, students will smoke, drink alcohol or do drugs or have sex. In search of love,
girls will get pregnant (perceived love from the boy, expected love from the child). In an
effort to get rid of emotional pain, students will diss, insult, embarrass and ridicule
others.
Better Grades, Best Behaviors